Probably everybody but the card-carrying atheists among us have them up by now, right? Strings of colored lights, trees full of ornaments with a flashing star on top, maybe even a lighted manger scene replete with sheep and a mule and a handful of shepherds.
Here in NEPA we had two late additions to our Yule-time regalia... a HUGE inflatable snow-globe and a lighted herald angel trumpeting the Good News of the Savior's birth. The "religious" piece was my idea... by the way.
The globe was pretty easy to set up, I guess. Actually, the kids did it. It plugs in and a small fan forces air into the globe, and the whole things is "staked" into the ground with up to four anchors. The down side? MY kids chose to use only two anchors, and NEPA just had the worst ice-storm its seen in decades, with winds gusting up to 40+mph. The globe had a tough time of it, even getting deflated each night before I left for work. So, it was brought into the porch until such time as the wind stopped blowing and the ice stopped falling.
The angel was a different story. Made of twisted wire and filled in with painted wicker, the entire thing was coated with tiny "ice crystals" and then wrapped in white Christmas lights. It came in the box broken down into seven pieces, and these pieces are supposed to fit together like a very simply jig-saw puzzle.
The wire and wicker seems to have no fasteners other than the occasional twist or loop, and the "ice crystals" make the entire thing seem like it is made of military-grade concertina wire. After about 15 minutes of fighting with this thing, I was rapidly coming to think of the image it was portraying as a modern incarnation of the medieval "Iron Maiden" more than a beloved and trusted "Messenger of God" promising Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Man.
So, just as I am about to either finish the project or destroy it trying... I hear the completely unexpected words of encouragement pop out of my fiance's mouth...
"Go ahead... call it a 'cocksucker', honey."
If you only knew what this woman was like back when I first met her 20 years ago! Never a bad word, never a curse... so these words struck me as particularly funny, and I laughed. I laughed HARD. In fact, I'm giggling now just remembering it.
What is it about that phrase that so rolls off the tongue of a man in a fit of frustrated rage that SO captures his feelings of anger and spite? That word... coupled with a few choice adjectives like "you rotten"... actually DOES make you feel just a little better!
Not exactly what I would recommend for spreading the "Christmas Spirit" amongst children and extended family and friends... but it DOES seem to help.
Just another life-lesson observation from NEPA.
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