As you can tell...

I have some down-time here at the casino.

After spending the first 3 hours of the shift actually doing what I am supposed to do for 8 hours, and then spending another 5 hours working on a budget proposal for the department I work in, I now find myself with the last 2 hours of the night to myself. So, I choose to "Bund" as my Liz loves to call it.

So, I start reading the headlines. What catches my eye first? 1,881 national and international headlines outlining the story that Michael Chertoff and Chief Aguilera of the Border Patrol are on the Congressional "hotseat" over a failed virtual-fence expense of $20 million.

Man, I thought... what's $20 million when you ar talking about 1969 miles of Mexican border? Of course there are going to be hick-ups and budget screw-ups! Get a grip...

Then I read further...

$20 million dollars to install this virtual fence... for less than 30 miles of border! Are you kidding me? Where is the substantial savings in time and money that James and Ryan assured me would appear once the plan for an "actual" fence was shelved in favor of the vaunted "virtual" one? James even had it mapped out that it could be done for the WHOLE border for around $300 million!

Okay, let's check my math... which, if memory serves me correctly, Ryan called into question the last time this topic was brought up here at the Bund... 1,969 miles of Mexican frontier, with a price tag running right at $20,000,000 for every 28 miles of "virtual" fence...

Hmmm...

12 times fourteen, carry the 9, divide by the age of the dog (in human years)...

Yep, just the "virtual" fence will cost $1,406,400,000 in unadjusted dollars. Why unadjusted, you ask?

Well, this 28 mile stretch took more than 5 years to build! So, going back to pencil and paper, we see that it will finally be completed in the year 2394 AD... a paltry 386 year construction project. Hell, Notre Dame Cathedral only took 88 years! The Great Pyramid was finished in less than 22 years! The TVA (the largest public works project in US history) was basicly finished in 37 years.

Now, now... I know that Ryan is wringing his hands at my propensity for exageration. Five years of planning and experimenting that we won't have to do anymore can't count, right? Sure, that's legitimate. But so is MY argument that the 28 miles they managed to complete is 28 miles of the EASIEST terrain on the border! What happens when they start working in the rugged, isolated areas of the region, on mountain sides and river valleys? Do we expect to have delays and snags then?

*sigh*

The funny thing is this...

The Congressional hearings weren't over the COST at all. They were about the fact that the fence doesn't work. It hasn't stopped anyone from crossing... not one documented detainment of an illegal.

This really is simply too pathetic to be funny.