You guys are going to love this...
Got to talking in the pits today about "practical jokes", and while I'm certainly not "unschooled" in this area, I heard some damn good ones that were utterly new to me, too.
We've all sent the new, raw rookie to the office looking for "wheel cranks" because the roulette wheels were slowing down, or to the facilities office for "ten more feet of pass line" so we can open another dice table... but the one I heard today was priceless.
At another casino, a jerk of a pit boss sent a rookie dealer to the office for some "puck wax"... both black and white... and when the shift boss heard the request, he got bent. So, to teach the jerk a lesson, he asked the dealer if he/she wanted to go home early. He/she said yes, and they quietly signed the dealer out as an EO... without telling the pit boss. So, twenty minutes later, when the dealer doesn't go back to his/her game... the pit gets worried, but doesn't want to admit to sending the dealer on a wild goose chase. Meanwhile, the shift boss asks the jerk pit to send the "missing" dealer to the shift office for some important paperwork (completely imaginary, of course), which adds to the pit's anxiety level by a full order of magnitude. So now, with a stuck dealer string and a shift boss asking for the dealer every five minutes, the pit has to admit that he has no idea where the dealer is, and why that dealer isn't either in the break room or on a game.
Imagine some of the pits we've had, and being able to see their faces when the realization hits that they have potentially LOST a live dealer in the midst of a practical joke... how priceless would that be?
At this house, we haven't progressed quite that far yet... but we're getting there. I have a young floor that I've become quite fond of hanging with, and while he's pretty green at the job, he's going to be good. You can just tell, you know what I mean? Anyway, he has a nasty habit of walking into a section he's taking over and calling people's names from the rating list to see if they are still on the game, rather than reading the descriptions and being just a little bit subtle. So, today, we snuck into another section (sending the floor to the bathroom for tissues... another shameless ruse, I know) and loaded his computers with fake ratings with names like "Ike Ryan" or "Clark Kent" or "Fu Manchu" right before he got into the section. Cheesy names, I know... but we didn't want to offend guests and get fired, either. None the less, Kenny called these names loudly and proudly until the guests explained that he was being toyed with, and there was no Ronald W. Reagan or Dan Quayle sitting at the table he was watching.
Once he caught on to that, we resorted to taking the lost and discarded players cards that inevitably pile up on podiums, and generously spread them around his tables, so that he would follow his natural course and SWIPE them first, then ask who they belong to and how much they were in. That was worth a giggle, I can tell you.
Then we convinced a shift boss to sign a fake transfer request made out in Kenny's name, and hand it to him like he was returning it and giving him his new shift assignment. THAT was friggin funny... I thought he was going to have kittens when he saw that he was going to Graveyard. Hehe...
Tomorrow, its "Fun With Hand Sanitizer Day" in Pit 3...
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1 comment:
Having lived around baseball and on hockey road trips, I've had plenty played on me and returned a few good ones myself. Nevertheless, as long as there's no harm, it's good stuff.
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