I never got it...

I never understood the fascination some people have with all the things they haven't done. In this day and age, in this nation, I find it harder and harder to imagine circumstances where a rational adult can't do just about anything they want to do... when they want to do it.

There are dozens of books and movies like The Bucket List (which I haven't seen yet) wherein the characters do all they want to do so as to not feel cheated or short-changed by life's unfair twists and turns. Why wait till you have only weeks or months left to live? Why put off, over and over again, that which you always wanted to do?

Now, it's tough for me to imagine Ryan simply going out and becoming President of the United States next week... but if that were your life's goal, you'd be pursuing it with all you had. My wife Liz, for example, was fussing about the time it was taking to clean and re-organize all the boxes and totes of my past life just yesterday, so I got to it and started getting things together. In one of them, I found an old letter from Jambo and Cramey, written while they were still in the dorms at UW and I was in Colorado, planning a "Spring Break" get away to warmer climates. The letter was written by the two of them on one of their very old, very early home computers with a dot matrix printer, so it is difficult to read after twenty years or more... but it is funny and full of references to past adventures that the three of us had been on. Liz got kind of quiet and said that, while I was off having all these adventures (trips to CO, AZ, the Oregon Coast, Myrtle Beach, Thunder Bay, Ont. for coffee, Russia... you get the point), she was getting pregnant and raising kids with a husband that cheated on her constantly, leaving her to wallow in a house in NEPA.

In Liz's case, she was raising children (unknown to her then, but someday they would be MY children) in a difficult world, under difficult circumstances, and doing a great job of it. What greater, more noble "career" could one hope for? Ryan is a well-adjusted, healthy (well, typically healthy... sorry you're under the weather right now) single father raising two exceptional boys to understand what the word "morals" means in today's amoral world, and doing a great job at it, too. In either case, should these people have chosen to focus their drives and aspirations on themselves rather than on the real purpose for their lives right now, where is the gain?

Perhaps Ryan hasn't reached the pinnacle of his political career... yet. Lest we forget, some of histories greatest figures got late starts. Caesar stood before a statue of Alexander and lamented that, when Alexander was Caesar's age, he had already conquered the world... yet Caesar had the greater impact on western society, I think, and is certainly better known by the ignorant masses of today's modern America. Ben Franklin didn't get close to the pinnacle of his career (which was damn impressive already) till he was 59 years old.

As I continually tell Liz, society (as skewed as it is today) still sees the value in sacrifice. Sacrifice of self for the benefit of others is, as it has been since the beginning of recorded human history, something we all see as noble, and there is no greater effort that can be made than to put our own wants, needs and desires aside to ensure the healthy, happy development of children. Sacrificing the opportunity to say "I climbed Everest!" or "I won a Pulitzer!" or "I've been to Europe twice every year for twenty years!" for the opportunity to say "I raised my children to be happy, healthy and successfull human beings!" is the far greater achievement.

Besides, you've had some success stories of your own, my friend... your obit could easily contain such jewels as the time we drank the Banshee pub dry of stout, then managed to walk the battlefield at Gettysburg the very next morning. Some of the best memories I have are of hanging with you lumps on Ryan's patio, while my shorts bleached white from sitting on his patio furniture.

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon, and that the boys don't get what you have. We've had a pretty bug-free spring here, but I know it can be a tough time to be sick.